


Alessa

by HappyLeech



Series: Muddled Thoughts [2]
Category: Silent Hill, Silent Hill (Video Game Series)
Genre: Disjointed Trains of Thought, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-05
Updated: 2013-02-05
Packaged: 2017-11-28 08:04:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 891
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/672127
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HappyLeech/pseuds/HappyLeech
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She just wants it to stop hurting...<br/>A rambly, free-flowing look into Alessa's head.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Alessa

Mama told me to come home right away after school so I do because no one there likes me and Claudia wasn't there so I got picked on again and someone wrote a nasty word on my desk and told Mr. Gordon it was me but he didn't believe me and he's my favourite teacher and I don't want him to hate me and Mama said someone was going to come and leave me a present a real one not like my last birthday when Maria at school put a bunch of dead bugs in my desk and Suzie out dog poop on my chair but when I walk in that creepy doctor Mama always has at the house and the new mayor who isn't like the nice one who died last month and that weird guy who always hangs around behind the school all the time and the new police officer the one who tried to hit me when I crossed the street without the crosswalk grab me and then I'm upstairs and Mamas chanting something weird and I can't move and there's a fire and oh god no

_-MamaMamanowhereareyougoingpleasesavemedon'tleavemeherewhatdidIdoMamapleasesavemedon'tleavemehereithurtssomuch!-_

And then the man comes and he picks me up and I'm crying but the tears disappear as soon as they come out and I try to close my eyes but I can't and I tell him to leave me because he's going to get hurt and the floor falls in and

_-MamadidthistomewhydidshedothiswhatdidIdoI'msorryMama!-_

He drops me outside and it hurts too much and he isn't moving and Mama comes out of the shadows and she hits me and she tells me it's my fault and the man is going to die and it hurts and then the doctor comes and throws me inside his car and it bounces and hurts all the way to the hospital and he starts yelling at someone and tells them not to help me because I was bad and there's a nurse and she pretty and crying and when the doctor isn't looking she gives me a shot and everything hurts less and I fall asleep but all I dream about is heat and bugs and big dogs and mama yelling at me from the shadows and something _big_ and _evil_ and _wrong_ sitting in my stomach.

I try and I strain but I can't force that thing out and the nurse is crying again and I know she got in trouble for helping me and I hate this so much and time moves so slow but I can't open my eyes and look and see and tell the pretty nurse that it's okay or that my mama did this and Mama never loved me she only loved what is sitting in my stomach so I won't give it to her because she hurt me bad so I split and I feel flashes of joy and happiness and days with chocolate chip pancakes and trips to the park mixed with pain and despair and the weeping of the pretty kind nurse until she stops talking and singing and breathing and the yelling and screaming coming from Mama and that doctor and everyone else who wanted the _evil bad wrong destructive deathly_ thing months ago.

But I won't let them take it and I keep the pretty nurse's spirit safe and with me where she sings and forgets what happened to her and I mold the town letting my nightmares run rampant so Mama won't bring anyone to take the bad evil wrong from me but then she hurts me so bad too bad and town is out of my control and the happy flashes and joyous flashes are killed when Mama brings my other half back and I try to keep the man away far away not wanting to die to feel pain to hurt him to hurt me hurt us but my other self won't let me chase him away and he slowly destroys the markers and I grow weak and it HURTS.

Mama takes me from the hospital from the pretty nurse who doesn't cry anymore from safety in the dark and puts me with the other me who is crying and fading and I don't know how long I wait and my other self finally disappears and melds and we're both crying and it hurts more and more and I know the man, daddy, isn't trying to hurt us but he is and he doesn't know it and then he appears and Mama hurts me again and the last of my, our, power runs dry and you know that the pretty nurse has figured out what happened remembered and the _bad evil horrible secret_ thing takes over and this time I hurt Mama but she doesn't care and it makes me angry.

And I can't remember because something hit me and

_-ithurtsnopleasestopIdon'twanttopleasewhyareyouhurtingmeMamaI'msorryDaddypleasesavemethey'rehurtingme!-_

And suddenly nothing hurts anymore and the man, Harry…Daddy… is there and I look at him and then there's a light and the _big evil wrong bad_ thing is gone and I know I have to go with him so I compress what power I still have because the horrible bad monstrous thing left me filled with power and I shrink and start to cry and he picks me up and I fall asleep

And it doesn't hurt anymore.


End file.
